The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #152912 Message #3577840
Posted By: Joe Offer
21-Nov-13 - 05:17 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req/Add:Carolling and Crumpets (J Kirkpatrick)
Subject: ADD: Carolling and Crumpets (John Kirkpatrick)
Well, I was able to OCR it, more-or-less....
CAROLLING & CRUMPETS (John Kirkpatrick, 2006)
There were eight maids a-milking their cows in the stall When they took out their milk, there was no-one at all But the mooing and chewing, it made such a din And a night like no other was about to begin Says Daisy, "My udders are bruised black and blue I had that new rough one, she hasn't got a clue" And they all started moaning how she'd made them sore When they heard a clip-clopping right outside their door.
Then in comes a donkey with a man and a maid "Hell's haystacks! What a journey!" the donkey he said But before they could blink, she had brought forth a son Laid him in the manger, with them all looking on And the baby was piddling, and giggling with glee Great pictures of Paradise he made with his wee They hung in the air, glowing brighter than gold All the glories of Heaven for them all to behold
"He's a pretty thing," said Buttercup, "but he's lying on our tea And I don't mind admitting, I'm quite peckish now," said she And a murmur of agreement went all round their shed As the name of each cow shone over each head Then a far greater light it shone down through the roof There were cherubim and seraphim, all bursting with truth And Gabriel, their gaffer, he arranged them in parts To sing them a song, and here's how he starts: Gaudete, gaudete, Chistus est natus Ex Maria virgine, gaudete (Sing twice, to the normal tune)
"Well, I don't think he's local" said Hazel, in a huff "I never heard such language, such a silly load of stuff" Then up speaks young Parsley, the brains of the herd "Why, you great daft old lummox, I caught every word, They're having a party for the little baby boy And we're all invited to share in their joy There's a fine slap-up feast, and we shan't go without If you listen to their chorus, you'll soon work it out." Cows eat hay, but today it's juiced tomatoes Eggs for tea the turkey lay yesterday (Sing twice)
The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes And little Lord Jesus, he gave them all cakes A scone for the donkey, and a bun for the hen And each cow had a crumpet, Alleluia, Amen! And Gabriel went round the heavenly host With a glass of mulled wine each, and hot buttered toast They were all in mid-guzzle, when shepherds came in So they had to lay off, and have another sing.
As if that wasn't enough, then three kings did appear "Flipping heck, who'll be next? It's like madness in here." Poor Myrtle was flummoxed as the kings bowed their heads "Gold, frankincense, and myrtle," she thought they had said Says Parsley, "Wash your ears, girl, you're so blinking dense They said 'Gold, and fur, and then making sense' No use just being clever, common sense does the job" And the others all nodded, save Myrtle, who sobbed.
That Gabriel came flying in for all he was worth Said "As you were all witness to Jesus's birth All beasts shall be honoured on this night every year To speak just like humans, in words loud and clear." "I won't know what to say, though" says Bluebell, all shy "I think I'll just 'moo' if there's people close by"
"Well you won't catch me talking," said Hazel outright But Gabriel looked shirty, so she closed her lips tight He said, "It's a blessing being given unto you Whatever folks ask you, just answer them true And tell 'em what you saw here, and tell them again Of carolling and crumpets, Alleluia, Amen!"
Alleluia, Amen Alleluia, Amen Of carolling and crumpets, Alleluia, Amen. (Repeat profusely)