The story about Kim Jung Il reminds me of the legend of Big Pierre.

Since Big Pierre was a midget or dwarf about three feet tall, there was a mystery about why he was called "Big" Pierre. But someone noted that he was constantly accompanied by beautiful, sexy women. Then the word got out that he had a penis about as long as he was tall (sort of like Kim Jung Il).

It was a hydraulic engineer with a knowledge of physiology that blew up the myth about Big Pierre. "With a penis that size, in relation to the rest of his body, every time he had an erection, it would draw so much blood from the rest of his body, particularly his brain, that he would faint!"

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Reminds me of the story about the small town in eastern Oregon where the townspeople were sufficiently envious of the annual Ashland, Oregon Shakespeare festival and all the tourist business it brought to town that they decided to go into competition with their neighbor across the state and started their own Shakespeare company.

They had committed so much money on costumes and sets for the program of six Shakespeare comedies they planned to present that there was little money left over for poster advertising. So one fellow said that he could make up a poster that would list the plays very succinctly and economically. The commissioned him to design a poster.

Forgetting that this guy had one of the raunchiest minds in the country.

He presented them with a poster with three titles in the top row, two in the second row, and one in the bottom row. It read:

3"               6"               9"
       Wet             Dry         
          Miscarriage

"What the hell does THAT mean?" asked the dumfounded producer.

"Easy!" responded the poster designer. "3 inches = Much Ado about Nothing. 6" = As You Like It. 9" = The Taming of the Shrew. Then, Wet = A Midsummer Night's Dream, and Dry = Twelfth Night. Finally, Miscarriage = Love's Labors Lost." Clear as a bell to me!"

They decided to cancel the whole thing.

Don Firth