Lots of very interesting points of view so far, and much food for thought. Mudcat folk have so much wisdom to share. I do feel that 'bearing a grudge' is harmful, and carrying bitterness around for years does one no good at all. Reconciliation is nice, but it depends with whom. The vicar talked about Maureen Greaves, and also the completely different attitude of the family of Mark Duggan (shot by police, as it was thought he was armed) He also spoke about warring neighbours, boundary disputes etc. I must be a really crabby, crusty old thing, because I know I could never forgive some of the most heinous, evil deeds, not even if the perpetrators have been thoroughly punished. Oh dear. :)