> > > Subject: Canadian optimism. > > Clinton was sitting in his office when his telephone rang.
> > > "Hello! Mr. Clinton," a strange accented voice said. "This is Tommy up Canada. Eh, I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!, eh"
> > > "Well, Tommy " Clinton replied, "this is indeed important news! Tellme, how big is your army?"
> > > "At this moment in time," said Tommy after a moment's calculation,thereis myself, my cousin Bob, my next door neighbour Bill, and the entire dominoes team from the pub - that makes eight! Eh"
> > > Clinton sighed. "I must tell you Tommy that I have ten million men in my army, waiting to move on my command."
> > > "I'll have to ring you back!" said Tommy.

Sure enough, the next day Tommy rang back. "Right Mr.Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment! Eh"
> > > "And what equipment would that be, Tommy?" Clinton asked.
> > > "Well, we have two International Harvester combines, a bulldozer, and a big red tractor, plus 4 or 5 snow ploughs eh .
> > > Once more Clinton sighed. "I must tell you, Tommy, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armoured personnel carriers, and my army has increased to eleven and a half million since we last spoke."
> > > "No Shit?" said Tommy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough,Tommy rang again the next day. "Right, Mr. Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultra light with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the hockey team has joine us as well! Eh"
> > > Clinton was silent for a minute, then sighed "I must tell you Tomm that I have a thousand bombers, 500 MiG-19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to twelve million."

"I'll have to ring you back." said Tommy

Sure enough, Tommy called again the next day. "Right Mr.Clinton, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.eh."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Clinton. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
> > > "Well," said Tommy, "we've all got to talking eh, and , there's no way we can feed twelve million prisoners." > >