And what's more, gays put a camera in his forehead so they can spy on him....

For political reasons.....

Eliza. When we were married, it was in a hotel and a guest, a relative of Mrs Musket, asked if we would have been happier marrying in a church, I quickly tried to defuse the situation by mentioning that I was not religious. "Oh dear" she said. "Where did your parents go wrong?"

I say quickly tried to defuse it because the cathedral where Mrs Musket had been a dutiful bell ringer for most of her life refused to let us marry there on account of me being divorced. Fine except a member of their cathedral council was in the same boat but he seemed to above such rules. I love tradition so a cathedral wedding would have been nice. My hypocrisy, being similar to 95% of anyone else married at a church was nothing to the breathtaking hypocrisy of the CofE.