The lyrics are now available on When There Isn't a Girl About

As Jim Dixon rightly surmised, the printed lyrics are rather less risque than those given above!

LFF

WHEN THERE ISN'T A GIRL ABOUT


Poor old Robinson Crusoe, he led a life of miseree
There on the Island he knew not what to do
No girls there with loving eyes
To talk to him and sympathise
There on his lonesome things felt awfully blue
One night, whilst he was making up the bed
He turned to poor old Mister Friday, and he said,

Chorus: 'When there isn't a girl about you do feel lonely
When there isn't a girl that you can call your 'only'
You're abolutely on the shelf
Don't know what to do with yourself
When there isn't a girl about.'

Mister Brown was a bachelor and living in apartments grand
One Christmas evening he sat there all alone
Just above his head you know
There hung a kind of mistletoe
He stood beneath it than he gave a groan
No sweet maid was near at hand alas
Then to himself he whispered in the looking glass,

Chorus:

Green aboard of a P. and O. meant to see the world, you know
And for a fortnight he quite enjoyed the trip;
He'd everything that he required
Everything that he desired
Still there was something missing on the ship
One day he found what was missing, so
He murmured to the Captain, when he went below,

Chorus:

Binks the Bobby was on his beat, looking for a snug retreat
But all the servants were snug between the sheets
All the clocks were striking four
And barred was every airy door
Binks seemed deserted, so did all the streets
Feeling chilly, he crouched against a wall
Then shouted to the man that kept the coffee stall,

Chorus:


Written and composed by Harry Castling & Charles Collins - 1906
Performed by Arthur Reece (1870-1964)
Performed by Billy Williams (1877-1915)