City:
The jugs are filled and waiting but I am not getting back to the mill today. The washing machine is arriving. Hopefully, the dry laundry as well. This will drive me to at least get laundry done and the laundry room stuff out of the LR. Hmmm, having written that, R finally got up to go show a machine to someone, "Then I'll pick up the laundry and then get the washing machine ----if Joe has moved his trailer..." (He did say noon a while ago but time has no meaning to R.)

I really need something good to happen. We agreed this morning that my sensitivity to chemicals seems to have worsened. I realized a few minutes ago that I cannot even feel happy about spring because in May the farmers will poison me again. I could weep.

R suggests we move to the Laurentians but our community of friends is in southern Quebec. Also the mill and all the work he needs to do there. OK, we cannot move to the L and that is good. Maybe go away for a week or so in May, somewhere there are no black flies? If no raccoons need to be fostered. OR... Can I give my life to kits when it is going to cost me 6-8 weeks of my life, of being sick, incapacitated, angry, powerless... A resounding, NO! R is going to visit the farmers in the vicinity of the mill to find out about the spray schedule and what it is. Based on the schedule, I really need to plan to be elsewhere. (That was me thinking "out loud", than you.)

So, I can go upstairs and get a bit of work done while I wait for the washing machine - maybe a lot of work done, the way R's concept of time operates. Waiting is one of my least favourite things; waiting is powerlessness. The dishes are washed and nothing else can be done down stairs so up is where I need to go - "Nowhere to go but up"!