CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE RECIPE --------------------------- You'll need the following: 1 C water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 C sugar 1 C brown sugar 4 large eggs lemon juice 2 C dried fruit nuts 1 tsp. salt 1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey > > Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
About 1/2cup of whiskey would be a good sample
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still okay, by having another drink
Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.
Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Have another sup of whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares.
Check the whiskey again.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed. Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway??!!