When Musket becomes a millionaire he promises to buy a cheap guitar from Argos and hand it over to whassisname at Dave Mann music in Nottingham and say money no object , I want it to sound like a Fylde.

In the meantime, the black beauty gets taken out all the time.

I'll buy Al a new guitar and Bridge a new armchair. Backwoodsman gets bugger allypoos for keeping quiet. I'll buy a pulping mill for Jack to go with his book.

The snag being I have to become a millionaire first. What with gravy bones for the dog and French horn polish for Mrs Musket, not to mention my beer fund, I'll never become a millionaire at this rate. If they're not careful, I'll stop being a dirty rotten stinking capitalist. I reckon the only ex miner to become a millionaire was Scargill.