LOL Musket! I bet you're a very very charming big bald bugger.
My husband's put on a bit of weight over the years. (He was skeletally thin when I first met him.) He often teases me by referring to himself by the dreaded 'N' word, and after weighing himself in Boots yesterday he announced far too loudly, "Ha! Now I am a Bigger N*****!!" I had to hide behind the toothpaste shelves in utter shame.