Who are you calling a cant? Do I sound like a southerner? I'm a cunt, thank you very much.

I wouldn't raise my hopes up too much with the gentleman bit either.

My smarty pants are a posing pouch for that matter.

And on that bomb shell, it's back to the studio where Lord Lucan will explain how he escaped from the Paris tunnel on the back of Shergar, collecting his reward money from Prince Phillip en route.

Ooh la la..