Realizing it is a hard question to answer, Larry. I really don't know. I'm very introverted, though not shy. I spend my days listening intently to others. Not inclined to want to draw others out outside of office 'hours.' I think showing up for weddings, funerals, graduations, i.e. rites of passage and those community celebrations that also involve the community 'bearing witness to and supporting' others are important to show up for. I may not feel a sense of positive anticipation beforehand, but am glad that I show up for them and generally enjoy myself. Also feel drained afterward.

I can turn into a hermit and know that is not good and not a place I like or need to be. Although it can be very comfortable, it is not healthy. I guess, in the sense in which you are inquiring, parties, dinner parties, etc. I just want and need a sense of connectedness to community, but definitely need to feel in control of how deep or personal that connectedness is. I want and need a sense of deep and intimate, effortless connectedness to a few people, and have always been able to have that. I also want and need a sense of being part of a community that I can count on and who can count on me for instrumental support and a sense of interresponsibility but with whom I do not want a sense of intimacy. Belonging? Yes. Intimacy? No.

I'm guessing that your inquiry here, on an on-line community, and our responses reflects, at a minimum, that many of us who invest ourselves in on-line communities are introverts who don't want or desire to feel disconnected, but who find it very easy to titrate our interactions on-line in a way that is not possible in 3-D.