Mary from the mountain glen
seduced herself with a fountain pen
the top came off and the ink ran wild
she gave birth to a blue/black child'
They called the bastard Steven
they called the bastard Steven
They called the bastard Steven
Cos that was the name of the ink
not quink

Mary from the mountain shed
seduced herslf with a loaf of bread
the crust came off and the yeast ran wild
she gave birth to a light brown child
They called the bastard Hovis
They called the bastard Hovis
They called the Bastard Hovis
Cos that was the name of the bread ,
not fred

Mary from the mountain vale
seduced herself with a bottle of ale
the top came off and the hops ran wild
she gave birth to a bubbly child
they called the bastard Trubrown
They called the bastard Trubrown
They called the bastard Trubrown
`Cos that was the name of the ale
Not pale