Ooh.. Bloody hell..   You and Richard Bridge......

My conscience is clear, never voted Tory in my life. Mind you, I do consider myself a floating voter. Nice to be one of the few percent with actual power, even if it is just to keep the bastards on their toes.

I have never aspired to anything. My Mum wanted a girl, my Dad if truth be known, wanted a new wheelbarrow. I tried a different track. Got my head down, worked my balls off and the BMW fairy eventually granted me some wishes. Panache and class I leave to those who try too hard. A pressed dinner jacket* and a smile, that's all you need.

Survival of the drinkiest.

* Never buy one with a stripe down the leg. You will be confused with those bores who tell you they used to be in the paras. No class whatsoever and if you want to get on, avoid the buggers like the plague. Tell them you won the Tag Heuer Monaco in a game of cards, I guarantee they will be impressed. Then move on, they won't be offended.