"Since I don't know the OP or other posters here personally, I have no sense of what other people's personal issues are. But it may help for some of us to do a little more self reflection when things don't work out, and look at our own role and attitude in the relationship process. "

From my not particularly unique male point of view...

Cats are a serious warning signal.

multiple cat ownership = beware

Cat litter tray in her bedroom = thanks for the offer but i'll see myself out...