Normally, I appreciate how songwriters get their inspiration, but Al, you really ought to get out more....

Scotland for instance. cottages4you have a place in Aviemore with an empty week, 3rd week in August. All ground floor, easy access, off road parking. Little chance of accidentally bumping into Scottish people up there too. If you rent out your places to Glaswegians, they only take the doors off and burn them. (Ok, I'm getting bored now...)