What an odd bunch of indignant self righteous responses ???

Ebbie, I've no intention of even cheating on the wife, let alone proposing to a complete stranger
on an entirely different continent.

Where we come from, 'the wife' is an accepted sign of respect,
'my wife' is frowned upon by any feminists we know
as implying posession and ownership in the archaic sense of 'Chattel'.

The wife is a highly educated modern woman, she would not be at all happy with that.

We've just emerged from our Sunday mid-day 'cuddle'.
The pine bed frame [15 years old] is cracked in the middle, held together with glue
and a few strong screws.

This is actually one area of household damage we both happily agree the cause of
and accept full mutual responsibility.