Warning:
Bad ethnic slur words, which are part of the original lyric, are included below

THEY AIN'T MAKING JEWS LIKE JESUS ANYMORE

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowlin' shirt was a-guzzlin' Lone Star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
"They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City, one.
You just want to diddle a Christian girl and you killed God's only son."

I said, "Has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that's not very nice,
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ."
"You know, you don't look Jewish," he said. "Near as I could figger,
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger."

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore.
They don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin' and spittin' on the floor.
Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore.

He says, "I ain't a racist but Aristittle Onaysis is one Greek we don't need,
And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops 'n' micks 'n' slopes 'n' spics 'n' spooks are on my list,
And there's one little Hebe from the heart of Texas; is there anyone I missed?"

Well, I hits him with ever'thing I had right square between the eyes.
I says, "I'm gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin' that pack of lies.
If there's one thing I can't abide, it's an ethnocentric racist.
Now you take back what you just said 'bout Aristittle Onaysis."

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore.
We don't turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor.
Lord, they ain't a-makin' Jews like Jesus anymore.

Everybody!
They ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore.
They ain't makin' carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door:
Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!

No, we ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore.
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door:
Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!