The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #156716   Message #3695241
Posted By: Rusty Dobro
19-Mar-15 - 06:42 AM
Thread Name: Talking blues, a forgotten music genre?
Subject: RE: Talking blues, a forgotten music genre?
Here's one from a few years back, when the UK had a really dry Spring, and the use of domestic hose-pipes was banned. This of course was the cue for the heavens to open.


TALKIN' HOSEPIPE BLUES

I jumped into my little car to go to town, it wasn't far,
But as I drove off down the lane, it started hissing down with rain.
The lightning flashed, the thunder roared, but through it went my little Ford.
It rained and rained without a pause, till water came in through the doors.
The roads filled up with muddy foam, I turned around and hurried home.

The next day wasn't quite so wet, but what a sight there was that met
My eyes when I first looked outside, I tell you, friends, I nearly cried.
My shining car it shone no more, there must have been a ton or more
Of mud and filth and grunge upon it, covering it from boot to bonnet.

Well, I'm not dumb, I tell you true, and friends, I knew just what to do.
I pulled the hosepipe from its reel, turned the tap and washed a wheel.
I worked away with hose and brush to get my motor looking plush,
But as I washed away the loam, I found that I was not alone.

A copper stood there like they do, he said 'I've had my eye on you!
You've used a hose at time of drought; I doubt they'll ever let you out!'
I said, 'I can't believe you mean it, it's rained for months, have you not seen it?'
'The law's the law' he sternly cried, 'now here's my van, please get inside!'

I'm not the kind to give up quick, and so I gave his shins a kick,
Next thing I knew I'm in a cell, Lasered and Tasered and mad as hell.
The judge he said, 'You must do time, I've never known a more serious crime.
Ten years you'll serve, there's no appeal, and we're confiscating your hosepipe reel.'


So here I am, locked safe away, I never see the light of day,
But though in prison I remain, at least I'm dry, out of the rain.