Shame, here's what happened.

I went into the hospital to have two hernias -- one on each side -- repaired (this was probably caused by hard work, so you're safe). After a bunch of paperwork they put me in a bed and stuck a needle in the back of my hand. That didn't work so they stuck in in my arm. Then they gave me some of that Hillbilly Heroin and then put some stuff in the water dripping into the needle to make me sleep. That was okay, but a guy came at me with knife! I took it away from him when two big guys grabbed me and threw me back on the table...I was pretty woozy from the stuff by then or I would have thrown them out the window (I did throw one out). They held me down and put a little mask on me and I passed out. It was then that I was shaved (I didn't know they took a picture!) and they started cutting and hacking away but even unconscious I didn't let 'em near any Important Parts even though did id hear cries of amazement and delight from the ladies present and shouts of jealousy from the men. Anyway, the next thing I knew was waking up and a hospital orderly dressing me and hurrying me out "before the student nurses find you and Have Their Way with you." I did manage to kick the first guy with a knife right in his family jewels, though.