What if Musgrave had talked his way out of it? (Your sheets? What, these sheets? And your fair lady - ah. Look, I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding...

What if the outlandish knight had said, "You're right, it's not fitting that such a rogue a naked woman should see, but then it's not exactly fitting that I'm about to kill you, is it? Go on, drop 'em!"? What if the parrot being in the window so high, hearing the lady did say "Pretty polly! Pretty polly! Awwk!"?

What if George Collins had thought Hang on a minute, 'your life shall not last you long', what kind of an invitation is that??

What if she'd opened up a book of poems and handed it to me, written by an Italian poet from the thirteenth century, and I couldn't make head or tail of the damn thing because I don't know medieval Italian?