"Stuffed bonobo flambé"? NO! We don't eat bonobos, only common chimps! Bonobos are way cooler than Pan troglodytes.

If Chongo were a bonobo, he wouldn't be such an asshole. He'd get laid regularly and wouldn't need to resort to all the tough-guy posturing that makes him such a jerk. He'd live in Marin County instead of Chicago. He'd smoke sensemilla instead of drinking rotgut whiskey. He'd spend summer weekends surfing and winter vacations skiing at Tahoe. He'd eat sushi! If Chongo were a bonobo, I would vote for him for president!