Now Billyboy is starting to predict the lies he thinks I may tell. Very amusing. Now let me just tell you something, you offensive fellow. An 86-year-old close relative of mine has rheumatoid arthritis and COPD and can hardly walk. When we take her shopping we have to push her around in a wheelchair. She has heart failure that causes her legs to swell up like balloons. So three years ago I helped her to get a blue badge. It expired a couple of months ago so I had to go through the whole palaver again. The bureaucracy I endured both times was a bloody nightmare and you have to wait for weeks to find out whether you're going to get one. What I suggest you do, before slagging off people with genuine and severe disabilities, is to get down to your town hall and make some polite enquiries about what you do to get a blue badge (and don't think you can short-cut that by looking at nice friendly council websites - it ain't like that in real life, I assure you). I think you may find it an eye-opener. Oh, I forgot. You're Mr-I've-done-all-right-and-stuff-the-rest, aren't you, eyes tight shut. As for your slur about people defrauding the benefits system, last I heard it was about 0.5% of claims. Contrast that with the hundred billion not paid in tax by those who oughter and about whom you are silent (except for defending those non-doms, I seem to remember, on the grounds that they hold the country to ransom by threatening to move out). As for those zero-hour contracts, just think of how the unemployment figures would look if they didn't exist. Worse than anything under New Labour, and those zero-hour contracts shot up by 28% in one year. The Tories love them because you don't have to pay benefits and they make the numbers look good. But if you happen to on be one, you can't pay the rent, you can't borrow and you can't get a mortgage, exactly, can you?

And you can stop pretending that I supported Blair and Brown. I hereby declare, as I have often said, that I detest the pair of 'em. As Gorgeous George said, two cheeks of the same arse.