Can't let this thread die a death - I have forgotten more of these than I remember

There was a young woman from Louth
Who returned from a trip to the South
Her mother said "Nelly,
There's more in your belly,
Than ever went in by your mouth"

There was an old woman called Randal,
Whose behaviour caused quite a scandal,
She reared her proud rump
At the old village pump
And made improper use of the handle

There was an old vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were somewhat unstable
At every full moon
She'd pull out a spoon
And drink herself under the table

There was a young woman called Starkey
Who had an affair with a
The result of her sins
Was triplets, not twins,
One black, one white and one khaki

There was an old whore of the Ruhr
Who poxed everything that went through her
The smell of her tw@t
Killed a twenty foot rat
That had lived all its life in a sewer

There was a young woman called Cager
Who as the result of a wager,
Consented to fart
The whole oboe part
Of Mozart's quintet in F Major

There was a young lady from Chichester
Who used to make saints in their niches stir
One morning at matins
While dressed in white satin
She made the Bishop of Chichester's britches stir

I'll get my coat