There were two young ladies of Birmingham,
And this is a story concerning 'em.
    They lifted the frock
    And tickled the cock
Of the bishop while he was confirming 'em.

Now, that bishop was nobody's fool.
He'd been to divinity school.
    So he hauled down his breeches
    And screwed those two witches
With his holy episcopal tool.

Now, one of those girls was named Sue,
And Sue said, when the bishop was through,
    "The vicar was quicker
    And slicker and thicker
And two inches longer than you."