A first violinist, a second violinist, a virtuoso viola player and a double bass player stand at the four corners of a football pitch. The conductor drops a five pound note on the centre spot. Who gets to it first.

The second violinist.
The first violinist isn't going to bother for a fiver.
There is no such thing as a virtuoso viola player.
The double bass player doesn't understand the question.

Told by a double bass player.