What the conspiracy theorists don't realize is that Jade Helm is a red herring. Texans have been the "enemy" in secret military exercises since shortly before George W. Bush was elected governor of Texas in November of 1994. The exercises to which I'm referring are those which systematically test top secret "stupid rays" and "dumb pulses" on unsuspecting Texans. with the aim of progressively lowering their cumulative IQ score to that of freshly poured road tar. From all appearances, it seems the weapons are working remarkably well.