And now, brought to you by the law firm of Dilly-dally, Shilly-shally, Lollygag, Drag-ass, and Fuck-around, it's time for another installment of The Mother Of All BS Threads' favorite virtual advice column,...

Ask Gluon!


Shirley in West Bumpersticker, Iowa asks,

Dear Gluon,

The scientists at the Large Hadron Collider seem pretty convinced that they've observed a pentaquark. What do you think about that?

Quark!

Translation:

Dear Shirley,

What do you care? Your name is Shirley and you live in Iowa. You have enough problems without straining your brain about things you can't understand. Ask me again when you change your name to something hip like Angelica and move to someplace cool like Eugene, Oregon.