Rachel,

Me da always said, "If you want someone to like you, ask them about themselves instead of telling them about yourself."

No matter their age, people tend to listen to people who listen to them. Are you listening when they talk to you? Are you interested in what they have to say? They'll tell you what interests them, and you can use that in your directions.

Rules are another matter -- most folk seem to want to know the reasoning behind any rules, even the very young. Hope you're letting them know the results of following the rules (i.e., "It's important to sit up straight when you play, because this gives you....and you look good, too."), and the consequences of not following the rules ("If you don't, you lose.....and we both look silly to the people at the recital.")

Persevere! (I admire you much for working to help your students, and for being willing to listen to the divers opinions and occasional rants here.)

Sarah