The Toppers sound like Ink Spots wannabes—but they do it well. This is my transcription. Voice 1 is a tenor and sounds young. Voice 2 is a bass and sounds older.


IF MONEY GREW ON TREES
As recorded by The Toppers, on "Stompin' at the Savoy: Harlem Nocturne, 1944-1947"

If money grew on trees,
Heaven knows that I would live a life of ease.
I'd travel ev'rywhere,
Live just like a millionaire.

If money grew on trees,
I would find a fortune floating in the breeze.
I wouldn't mind working hard,
Raising money in my own backyard.

I'd buy a million dollars worth of flashy clothes,
Strut down old Broadway.
I wouldn't squeeze a dollar till it hollered.
If it hollered, I'd throw it away.

I'd live just like a king.
On each finger I would wear a diamond ring.
Then life would be a joke,
'Cause I never would be broke
If money grew on trees.

SPOKEN PATTER, OVER MUSIC:
VOICE 2: You know what?
VOICE 1: What? What's that?
VOICE 2: If money grew on trees—
VOICE 1: Boy, if it did! Hm-mm-hmm!
VOICE 2: Boy,—
VOICE 1: What?
VOICE 2: I'd live a life of ease,—
VOICE 1: A life of ease!
VOICE 2: Travel ev'rywhere, you know.
VOICE 1: On a freight train!
VOICE 2: No! Like all the rest o' them millionaires, you know.
VOICE 1: Oh, I see: like me! Yes, yes.
VOICE 2: You know, if money grew on trees,—
VOICE 1: Tell me more, boy; tell me more!
VOICE 2: Boy,—
VOICE 1: What?
VOICE 2: I'd find a fortune floatin' on the breeze.
VOICE 1: Floatin' on the breeze!
VOICE 2: Yep. I wouldn't mind workin' hard,—
VOICE 1: No?
VOICE 2: That is, raisin' the money in my own backyard.
VOICE 1: Oh, oh, I see what you mean.
VOICE 2: That ain't no crime, is it?
VOICE 1: No, it ain't no crime.
VOICE 2: You know what, son?
VOICE 1: What? What?
VOICE 2: I'd buy myself a million dollars—
VOICE 1: A million!
VOICE 2: Worth of flashy clothes.
VOICE 1: Top hats and tails and such.
VOICE 2: Boy, I'd strut down old Broadway.
VOICE 1: Ah, Broadway!
VOICE 2: You know what? I wouldn't squeeze a dollar—
VOICE 1: Uh-huh.
VOICE 2: Till it hollered,—
VOICE 1: Yes.
VOICE 2: 'Cause if it hollered,—
VOICE 1: Uh-huh.
VOICE 2: I'd [be] like Mr. Savoy.
VOICE 1: What'd he do?
VOICE 2: Throw it away!
VOICE 1: My, my!
VOICE 2: I'd live just like a king.
VOICE 1: You mean like me, and all them cats.
VOICE 2: Yeah, boy.
VOICE 1: I know what you mean, yeah.
VOICE 2: And on each finger, just like you, I'd have a great big diamond ring.
VOICE 1: Let's see, let's see, that's—that's generosity, Jack!
VOICE 2: Life would be a joke—
VOICE 1: Yeah!
VOICE 2: 'Cause I never would be broke. That is--
VOICE 1: [SINGS] If money grew on trees.