Alright, MAV, its time someone levelled with you. The liberal movement to take over this country has been making gradual progress toward our final vision of a Proletarian Utopia since the early 1930s. Many of us are indeed devout Bolshevists, but because of threats by the bourgeoise establishment, we call ourselves by innocuous-sounding names like "Democrats", "Sierra Club Members", or "Jews for Jesus". We meet in secret underground lairs where pictures of Lenin and Franklin D Roosevelt hang illuminated by guttering candles. Here we proudly display our hammer-and-sickle tattoos, and chant curses against American Heroes like Charles Lindbergh, Robert Welch, and Rush Limbaugh. Over the years we have managed to infiltrate every level of your society, mostly undetected by the average citizen. But some of the more intelligent and discerning conservatives, such as yourself, seem to be on to us. But it is far too late to stop us now! Already plans are underway to dismantle shopping malls and replace them with old growth forests, to abolish the three-martini lunch, to make any mention of the word "god" in elementary schools a felony, and to allow black people to once again vote in Florida.

You think that you Conservatives have scored a victory by getting George W elected President? Ha! It was our plan all along to help the feeblest and most innocuous member of your constituency into the Chief Executive Office, in order to make your so-called "Republic" that much easier to overthrow and replace with a benevolent dictator!

All Power to the People!