Black Hairy Tongues. I could get him a great gig in Rason, DPRK.

Picture him now: on stage at the Pipa Hotel, face painted a la Kiss (but way cooler!), spandex pants, no shirt, licking a microphone with his Black Hair Tongue cohorts backing on bass. Shame, of course, would be the drummer and lead singer, doubling on a Post-Modern Fender (custom made to his specs, of course), the light show and pyrotechnics behind and around him, women throwing themselves at him as his tour "Rason To ROCK!!" takes off.

I'll even toss in some money to make the tour a go.