This song might be irredeemable, but it certainly is a curiosity.

From the sheet music at Baylor University.

THE PHRENOLOGIST COON
Words by Ernest Hogan, music by Will Accooe, ©1901.

1. Of all the men of history,
'Tis said I's the mystery.
As conjureman I's the king,
For I's well versed in psychology,
Knows all about phrenology.
In ethnology I's the thing.
I can tell you what you are by the feeling of your bump,
And in the myst'ries of the future I can certainly make you jump.
When I has an inspiration, all the future I can see.
I can tell you what you are and was, and what you're gwine to be.

CHORUS: Dat's the reason why they call me the phrenologist coon.
I was born on Friday mornin' with the 'clipse of the moon.
After feelin' of your bump, and your face I've read,
By just feelin' in your pocket, I can tell what's in your head.
Dat's de reason why they call me the phrenologist coon.

2. Now by us scientists 'tis often said,
If a coon has an egg-shaped head,
Means chickens he will steal;
And if his face looks like a frog,
And head shaped like a hog,
He can't keep a secret; he will squeal.
If his head's shaped like a melon, it's no sign that he's insane,
But if his head looks like a bucket, he's got water in the brain.
If his head's shaped like a razor, you can bet that coon will cut.
If his head looks like a billy goat, beware! Dat coon will butt.