What's the difference between a stoat and a weasel?
One's weasily recognised and the other's stoatally different.

Long one shortened:
Man comes home from an exhibition with an egg he's been given by Indians in the Amazonian Jungle - he had been informed that it belonged to the Rary Bird.
He puts in on display on his sideboard and one morning he comes down to find it had hatched into a somewhat ugly but rather large chick which eventually grown into a massive flightless bird
The bird follows him around wherever he goes, eats everything it is given and eventually fills the entire room with its enormous bulk, so the man's wife tells him it will have to go.
He managed to manhandle it onto the back of his truck and he drives off until eventually he comes to a river running through a deep ravine -
He backs the truck up to the edge of the ravine and gets out to let down the back flap in order to tip the bird into the river.
The bird looks at him with large, soulful eyes and says, "that's a long way to tip a Rary".
Jim Carroll