Trainee priest walking through the Seminary grounds, falls face flat in the mud while climbing a stile
"Oh shit!! Fuck, I said shit!! Shit, I said Fuck!! Ah bollocks; I didn't want to be a priest anyway!!

Or;
A young novice is seduced by a priest.
Straightening down her habit, she says, "What am I going to tell the Mother Superior about allowing myself to be seduced twice?"
"But I only seduced you once".
"You're not in a hurry, are you?"
Jim Carroll