I think those who *actively* go looking for love or sex on the net are bound to be disappointed. I am on AOL and my handle starts with the letter A, so I get trolled by men ALL THE TIME, instant messaging me, some subtle and charming, some blatant and stupid, all looking for basically the same thing...it happens so often and so many of them seem to have a similar M.O., that I have to assume at least some of the time they manage to connect with women and have sex with them. Eeewww, I say.

That said, I have, on more than one occasion, made a connection with someone online which *later* grew/escalated into a potentially romantic thing (usually phone calls follow email, etc.)

First time: We emailed, chatted and talked on the pohoen for weeks. But in the end I was simply not attracted to the guy. Mutual friend introduced us and sorta tried to play matchmaker. He did not lie about anything far as I know. But he was not at all who I thought he was. He seemed to be this very confident, outgoing, socially-skillful individual but in person was not. I, on the other hand, was just what he expected; and he was quite attracted to me. Very awkward when he came to visit...

Second time: we met through a mutual cause we are both active in. Long phone conversations, talk of meeting, going on trips together, etc,. MUCH listening to how his last relationship (6 yrs) broke up. Our "romance" broke off when he met another woman the exact same way and decided he had more of a "connection" with her. Several months later I had occasion to visit his city (very far away) and we got together and for all intents and purposes you'd have thought we had a pretty srtong attraction for each other. I found out in the course of my short visit that he had lied about some very significant portions of the "other woman" thing (who, BTW, when he went to visit her in person for the first time, offered him an ultimatum about moving in with her and relocating, and when he said he did not want to, threw him out and told him to go stay in a hotel. Why he chose that manipulating little psycho over me, I will never know). So, having forgiven him months earlier, found I had even more reason not to trust him. There is still a strong attraction but why would I want to get involved with someone like that? (sigh) Because love is stupid. It is also blind...and experience has taught me, it is also occasionally deaf, dumb and unable to smell.

As hard as it is to meet people (witness the "Unhooked Catters") thread, I must agree, the old-fashioned way of meeting and mating is best. It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that schwing...ya know?

Peg (alchemical goddess)