'football (the real one not the one that has men running around in shorts)'

...by which one gathers he means that funny pantomime they call football tho feet are hardly used, and they wear full head & body armour, & there are incomprehensible rules about each side having two separate full teams who keep arbitrarily replacing each other while the other lot has a nap or something, & then they shout out arbitrary numbers and proceed to beat one another up but ineffectually coz of the armour & helmets while the ovoid is absolutely elsewhere...

...and that's 'the real one', is it? Well, enjoy!