Newfie Airliner

An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically nil, the ILS system is on the blink, so the newfie pilot has to land on wits alone.

"Flaps, check," he says to the co-pilot, "Landing Gear, check. Altitude, check. Right, we're going in. Hold on."

The plane lands and comes to a screeching, grinding halt; just short of the edge of the runway. "Holy Cow!" exclaims the pilot, "This must be the shortest runway I've ever landed on!"

The newfie co-pilot looks left and right and says "Yeah, and about the widest, too …"

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Happy Hour in Newfoundland

A Newfie saw a sign at a restaurant.

It read….

Happy Hour Special:

Lobster Tail & Beer.

"Lard Tunderin Jaises!" he says to himself, "Me three favourite things!"

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