Lyrics below are from the sheet music at Duke University. You can hear a recording of Bert Williams singing it at The Internet Archive


THE MISSISSIPPI STOKER
Words and music by Earle C. Jones. ©1907.

1. I'm a stoker on the river packet called the "Nancy Lee,"
And I'm just about the hardest coon you'll find in Tennessee.
In my younger days I used to want to sail upon a ship,
But I never got no further than the muddy Mississipp'.
All my people liked the water, but they took it "on the side,"
And my Uncle Hezekiah used to go upon a "tide."
Once he went into a tavern just to get a strong cigar,
And unloaded forty "schooners" that were standing at the "bar."

CHORUS 1: Oh, oh, when the paddles turn,
Oh, oh, then I always yearn
For the dear old days when I went clear off my dip,
And became a steamer stoker on the muddy Mississipp'.

2. Once my brother threw a poker deck into the kitchen fire,
'Cause I said that he was cheating, and he was an awful liar,
But I grabbed them out and stamped 'em till I had the blaze in check.
That is why I'm called the "Boy who stood upon the burning deck."
Oh, I used to fish for flounders and I sold them, you can bet.
All the people liked to buy of me, because I sold 'em "net."
I could always catch the suckers that were swimming 'round the stern,
'Cause I'd wiggle like Fatima and they thought I was a worm.

CHORUS 2: Oh, oh, when the whistles blow,
Oh, oh, then I always know,
That I'd rather be on a speedy ocean ship,
Than a simple steamer stoker on the muddy Mississipp'.

3. I was on the "Lady Lizzie" when she beat the "Kankakee,"
But they never would have done it if it hadn't been for me.
When her boilers up and busted, and the "Lady Lizzie" sunk,
Captain Johnson he was on the deck, and I was on a drunk.
When the "Louisville" was burning with her nose against the bank,
I held her till the passengers had walked across the plank.
Then they pinned a medal on my chest and, golly, how it hurt!
For they never seemed to notice that I hadn't on a shirt.

CHORUS 3: Oh, oh, floating down the stream,
Oh, oh, then I always dream
Of the good old times when I wasn't near so bug
As to be a dippy stoker on a Mississippi tug.

4. Oh, my daddy was a "whaler" with a club or buggy whip,
And my sister wore a "sailor" hat upon her wedding trip.
My old mammy knew that I would be a sailor first of all,
Just because my hair was "wavy" and I never feared a "squall."
Oh, my Uncle Dudley had a yacht he called the "Spotted Pup,"
And the dog fish used to bark at it when sailing for the cup,
But the cup he never lifted, and the reason's mighty clear:
It was just because they all forgot to fill it up with beer.

CHORUS 4: Oh, oh, river life is great,
Oh, oh, and I wish to state
That I'd rather be on most anything afloat
Than to be a smoky stoker on a Mississippi boat.