Yessiree. It is the year of the Monkey. And you know what that means? I am not a Monkey...but they don't have the Year of the Ape on the Chinese Zodiac, do they? So what it means is that 2016 IS the year that I will be elected President of the USA. You can take that to the bank and cash it, mister. Trump, Hillary, Sanders, Cruz, Rubio, they ain't got a chance. Get ready for "Change" with a capital "C", America! A gun club on every corner and a buncha bananas on every table! Ook! Ook!

- Chongo