These things you say about yourself are true of all of us, Rap. We all exist in every time and space. Your problem is that you have fallen into the delusion that it only applies to you! (And that you're in charge of all of it.) This, sir, is extreme solipsism on your part and may verge upon megalomania.

What you clearly need is a few simple lessons in humility from Chongo Chimp. He can show you how to appreciate the links you share with the common man (and the common ape), thus returning you to reason and sanity.