In this, the sixth day of Our reign, the following is mandatory for the Health and Happiness of Our subjects:

First, that all shall be happy,
Second, that We should be happier than everyone else,
Thirdly, that everyone else has more money than We,
Fourthly, that contrary to the Olde Sayinge, money can buy at least a facsimile of happiness,

It is Therefore Ordered:

That all of you, Our subjects, shall within the next forty-five days (including weekend, holidays, holy days, sick days, personal leave days, feast days, famine days, Lent, Easter, and all times wherein the Earth Our Domain does rotate around upon its axis in a Solar Day (as defined by the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service (IERS) as 86164.098 903 691 seconds of mean solar time (UT1) (23h 56m 4.098 903 691s)), shall send to Us all wealth, valuta, jewelry, jewels, gold (that is, the element with atomic number 79 and having a standard atomic weight (±) (Ar) of 196.966569 and an electron configuration of [Xe] 4f14 5d10 6s1 or per shell 2, 8, 18, 32, 18, 1) and other inanimate rare and valuable things (as defined by the society in which Our subjects live).

Failure to comply with This, Our first ruling, shall call down upon those failing the Wrath of olddude who shall salt their fields, burn their hovels and huts, and otherwise cause unto them Annoyance Great, which shall not exclude the playing of the banjo at ungodly hours.

Given at My Seat Of Power this Sixth Day of Our Reign and the First Year of the New Calendar, by

Your Beloved Emperor

Rapparee      ®   (his mark)