The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #130423 Message #3774123
Posted By: GUEST,jim bainbridge
21-Feb-16 - 09:17 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: You Never Need Your Nooky When You're 90
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You Never Need Your Nooky When You're 90
Well Gallus Moll- it's nearly 5 years now!
I believe there is a CD of my old pal John (RIP)'s songs- I remember him singing it to the village folk of Glentool, Galloway in the House o Hill pub before it turned into a suburban bistro a few years ago.
I sing it occasionally, it's a hoot but you need to choose the occasion!!- I have probably changed the words via the folk process, but this is as I recall it....
Oh at 65 my granddad he was seriously ill,
At 70 he was infinitely worse
And in a few years mair he was ridin' in a chair
At 80 he depended on a nurse
He wasn't eatin' anything except a dose o' pills
Says I'I'm sad to see ye're goin' to dee'
Says he''I'm no' done-in my good times are just comin'
Just listen and I'll tell hyr what my granddad said to me
chorus..
Ye never need yer nookie when ye're 90
Ye're rarely randy when ye're 83
While young men they take fits, chasin' legs and bums and tits
Ye're really quite ecstatic wi' yer cup o' tea
No ye never need yer nookie when ye're 90
And the freedom from the hassle it's like heaven
For ye're no' obliged to weemin' when you're no' producin' semen
Aye yer life's yer ain when you reach 87
V2
Sure enough at 85 my granddad threw away his chair
And practised at the shinty* with his stick
He had a lot o' fun when he did the marathon
And from there he graduated very quick
He hot a job as centre forward for Celtic
He scored 5 goals, gave the Aberdeen a hidin'
But I think he was tryin' to irk us when he went & joined the circus
And npne of us approved of his hang-glidin'
chorus
V3
Now all human life is mortal though he brought it on himself
Although he was 141
Climbin' Everest to him, was just a wee bit whim
But the show-off tried to come down on one hand.
When they heard that he was dead
The papers hassled me all day