My husband loves McDonalds (poor sod) and it's taken me ages to get used to the person behind the counter asking, "Ter go?" I used to reply, "I beg your pardon?" They'd repeat it, "Ter go?" and I'd repeat, "I beg your pardon?" This little charade could go on for hours, and very pleasant it was, but my husband was waiting at home hungry. The lad then asked if I wanted to eat the thing there and then, or take it away to poison myself with later. I requested the latter. But the 'ter go?' thing never did sink into my thick brain for ages.

I also could't appreciate the word 'fries' for chips. But the tiny, hard needle-sharp matchsticks in a cardboard envelope are certainly NOT chips anyway.

When I watch the music channel on TV, and the American R&B rappers (which I enjoy) I can see how American is actually a completely different language to ours; a Creole perhaps, or a pidgin?

I'm too old for these capers. English aint what it used to be.