Would I be right in thinking most or all of the 'jokes' about supposed Scots meanness are English in origin? Freudian projection perhaps, ahem, since any Scots I've ever known were remarkably generous, though they didn't know how to spell whiskey.
In Ireland, we call a bottle-opener a church door, rather than a church key - it's the same shape as those tall pointy church doors.
My sole Scottish joke, sourced from a diplomat, who told it with a naughty twinkle. A Glasgow woman want to know what a Highlander has under his kilt, so she asks can she take a look. He lifts up the kilt and she looks at it and exclaims, horrified, "Ohhh, it's gruesome!" He leers and lifts the kilt again and says, "Now it's gruesome more…"