TED talk on how to be good at conversation actually the speaker uses "good interviewing techniques" as the model. Which I listened to because I am interviewing old(er) people to record their memories of the locality I live in. The results are at StroudVoices.co.uk search page (put in WW2 or courting eg). And a lot of what I hear parallels the techniques I have evolved but you can always learn more.

One thing that struck me is a quote which resonates because there is one person in my cognisance who epitomises this mistake:

You have to listen to one another. Stephen Covey said it very beautifully. He said, "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply."

Could apply to some in this parish! (that's ruined the thread already!)