I ran across this today—


THE MAN WITH THE WEIRD BEARD
Words and music by Al Hoffman / Jerry Livingston / Milton Drake
As recorded by Arthur Godfrey with the Too Fat Trio (1949).

1. Straggly, raggly hair on his chin,
Battered and tattered and ugly as sin,
Eagle-eyed and floppy-eared,
He's the man with the weird beard.

2. Who is he? What is he? Nobody knows.
Both of his heels are as bare as his toes.
Never had his whiskers sheared,
He's the man with the weird beard.

BRIDGE: It ain't black; it ain't white.
It ain't short; it ain't long; it ain't right.
It's the craziest garden of hair.
Seven robins live in there.

3. Walk with him; talk with him; what do you find?
More on his chin than he's got on his mind.
That's the story that I heared,
'Bout the man with the weird beard.

REPEAT VERSES 1 & 2.

BRIDGE 2: It ain't green. (Uh-uh!) It ain't gray. (Uh-uh!)
It ain't oats; it ain't corn; it ain't hay. (Nay, nay!)
It's a jungle that hangs from his ears.
He ain't seen his feet for years.

4. Look at him; look at him dressed in his best,
Wearin' a beaver instead of a vest.
You ain't lived until you've heared
'Bout the man with the weird beard.


[Also recorded by:
Ray Bauduc and His Orchestra with vocalist Debby Claire, in a "Soundie" from 1946;
Ray Charles on "Have a Smile with Me" (1964);
Heather Bishop on "Bellybutton" (1982);
The Play-Rite Boys on "Doggone Good Time" (2006).]