I am neither a liar nor am I even remotely envious, thank you. My beef with royalty is that they represent the pinnacle of the pyramid of privilege which works relentlessly counter to any drive towards fairness and equality in society, supported by a huge public relations machine and sycophantic media, the Beeb included to its discredit. In fact, they legitimise unearned privilege and inequality. They encourage patriotism of a rather mindless, "wot makes Britain great" kind and they appear to have the ability, rather like religion, to persuade people to temporarily abandon their critical faculties, as we've seen in abundance this weekend. I call it the Nicholas Witchell syndrome. I must say that I admire the woman's longstanding ability, unlike anyone else in her tawdry extended clan, to retain a smidgeon of dignity. She's done it not by being "remarkable" but by keeping her mouth firmly shut except when reading speeches written by someone else. As for Charles, that country squire who pontificates inanely about subjects he doesn't understand, talks to his flowers, who is a homeopathic nutcase and whose private life has long been littered with some very dodgy morality, he represents by far the greatest threat to the continuation of the monarchy, and for that we should be grateful.

Incidentally, good joke, that one, you know, the one comparing a walk with the corgis in a usurped vast Scottish private estate with a stroll round the prison yard. Yep, I enjoyed that one! 😂