My earlier story up the thread was completely true, Steve: no kidding!
Just thought of another, also totally true: we were doing an informal afternoon performance in Edinburgh, and it was near to Remembrance Day, so we decided to play some pipe marches. One of our group was going to play Lowland pipes, but wasn't quite ready, so I introduced the name of the tunes, and also paid tribute to our armed forces serving in Afghanistan: glanced across at our piper who was still strapping his gear on, when out of mu big mouth tumbled the following words, "Just a wait a minute while A... blows himself up". Don't think anyone else got the double meaning, other than me, spending at least the next 5 minutes trying to control a pressing urge to laugh! Oh dear!