Softly, softly, Eliza! Your concern is very much appreciated.

My temper, though, is not the fiery sort, however it feels on the inside. The worst that I dread, in truth, is the way that my anger turns back on itself inside of me, so I am thinking more in terms of my body suddenly expressing itself in symptoms of illness. I don't do the obvious pathologies that are so notorious, like starving, binging/purging, cutting, and so on. Never needed hospitalization for mental issues -- I get that question often enough, the answer is negative.

No, the bigger recurring dilemma for me is that my behavior is like somebody under observation/surveillance, any spontaneous self-expression is pretty much squashed and shut down. This of course is unhealthy, even if it helps me cope in the short run. Deep sigh.

Anyway, thanks for your concern.